I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
