last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize