Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
