My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Dignity is for republicans.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
