Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize
