What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
No I am not eating basil off your cock
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Randomize