I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
