He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
