We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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