i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize