Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
