Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize