She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Vodka?
Forever.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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