I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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