went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
