Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
