Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
