and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
