I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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