Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
