after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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