i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
