Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
