We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
