dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
