If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Randomize
