the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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