you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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