Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
