he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
