When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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