Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
