At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
