But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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