My room smells like vodka and shame
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
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