Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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