the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Sorry my hands just texted you
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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