Dual....:-)
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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