You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
