i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize