I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize