I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
