Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
