All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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