i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
handjob tips. give me some.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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