; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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