Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
