I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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