Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize