Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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