Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
