check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I puked a lego.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
