Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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