I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Randomize
