I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
