NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
The best revenge is premature balding
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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