she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
