By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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