Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
