Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
