So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Randomize
