you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
