Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
When did we convert life to cartoon?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize