I think I died a long time ago.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
she smelled like a LAN party
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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