woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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