please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
