Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
