So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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