Kiss
Puke
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
