evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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