Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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