youre lurking in front of me
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
there is glitter all over my balls
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
