I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
There's even glitter on my cock...
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