There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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