i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize