Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
