dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
