saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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