I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
